My Two Wives
God ordained marriage, and it is a holy institution as old as creation. When God made man He knew that it was not good for man to be alone. So He made a woman complete him. We are told in Scripture, 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:21 NIV
God created them to be a unit, working together to build a home and raise children. This truth is made clear throughout all scripture.
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 NIV
We live in a world today that promotes the idea that what is right and wrong is for us to decide. That is not true! God defined all the rules that man needs. These are often referred to as God’s Laws and they have not changed through the centuries.
Trying to bend or change God’s Laws is defined as SIN. You may not like that word because it often defines what you do. There is no bending in God, He does not change. When God carved His Laws into stone for the children of Israel, one of those was, “You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 NIV
The Israelites did not like that Law and today even some churches have decided to ignore it. However, you and I must still face the fact that what we decide is right is only so if it agrees with what God has proclaimed for eternity. What you personally think does not change the truth.
Not two living wives
Please understand that referring to two wives does not mean I believe in multiple marriages. God created marriage between one man and one woman. The only way you can have two wives or husbands is if the first one is dead.
God blessed me with 54 years with my first wife, Reba. She was a wonderful God-loving woman. In 54 years we faced many problems. We were both immature, especially me, and struggled with the daily problems that come with marriage.
If we had not committed ourselves to God’s Word there were times when we would have gone the way of the world. We both loved Jesus and determined before we married that we would hold to Him. This meant that we had to forgive and love through whatever Satan threw at us.
When Reba went to be with the Lord I was a little lost but knew that God still planned to use me. At first, I believed I could do fine single. However, I soon realized that I worked much better with a helpmate. I could always call on Reba to help me in prayer and action in the past.
When left behind
Now after 54 years, I was a widower. I was a little lost.
God called me into a new ministry a year or so before Reba passed. He laid on my heart to reach out to those within the churches who had never committed their lives to following Jesus. They believed in God and most of them had made what we call the good confession but never surrendered their lives to God.
He led me to build a website and write messages that could reach this group. So I started building IAmCalls.com. It now has over 300 articles showing people how they can come closer to what God wants for them.
I hated to write, yet as is often the case, God calls you to an area where you are uncomfortable. He then grows you to fill that position.
After Reba passed I continued for several months, but realized, however, that I did not work as well by myself.
So one night, I asked God to give me a new wife to help me with my online ministry. Then, I went to sleep trusting God that in His timing He would answer my prayer.
Those of you who pray regularly know that at times God takes months or even years to answer. He has answered many prayers in my life, but I have learned to be patient and wait. God’s timing is always best.
I had looked around the church and there were several widows. I assumed that God would show me which one of them I should ask out when it was time.
However, God had someone else for me.
The following morning after I asked God for a wife. I opened my first email and it was from Carol in Virginia. It was a nice comment about an article I had written.
Carol said she liked the article I wrote and that she was also a writer. She said I did not need to reply she just wanted to say she liked it.
I have heard people say that God answers their prayers quickly, but most of the time I have had to wait. Maybe to develop patience. So, I did not expect an answer to my prayer for a wife any time soon. I knew He would answer, just did not expect a quick answer.
This is the one
You can imagine how I felt when God impressed upon me that Carol was to be my wife.
I had never talked to her and did not know what she looked like. I did not know what she believed. There were so many questions and I did not have the answers. How could God be telling me that this was the one?
Choosing a husband or wife is second in importance only to accepting Jesus as our Savior.
You can not trust feelings in such an important matter as a life mate. There are things you must learn about the person. So even though I was sure God was speaking to me it was still my responsibility to find out if she was eligible.
First, she must be a follower of Jesus, not just a church member. 14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14a NKJV Many who attend church have not committed themselves to serve God and obey Him.
Second, she must not be divorced. 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NKJV
I have listed divorce as separate from following Jesus because, in today’s culture, many chose to ignore what Scripture says about divorce. However, God made clear His hatred of divorce.
Did she meet God’s standards
I knew as a Christian I could not marry someone who had a living husband even if they had been divorced. Marriage is until death. I knew nothing about Carol except I believed God was telling me she would be my wife.
Surely she would meet His standards, but I must know for sure before I approach marriage.
Strange as it may seem the first doubt I had as to whether God was speaking to me had to do with where she lived. My thought was, Lord, she is in Virginia.
I am in San Antonio, Texas and there are several Christian women in my church as well as others I know. Virginia is 1500 miles away. I don’t even own a car anymore.
Please God show me I am understanding you before I embarrass myself.
How will I convince her that she should marry me? She has never seen me and does not know what I believe or what kind of person I am.
Will you show her as you have me? Can you open her heart to me and let her know that we are to take this step?
Carol had also prayed
Carol had also prayed a completely different prayer that same night. She thanked Jesus for being a husband to her all the years she had been alone. Carol thanked Him for taking care of her and helping her through the hard times.
Carol told Jesus she was satisfied as a widow and with His care of her. She was happy to spend the rest of her life serving Him in evangelism or however, He led.
Carol had no idea what was coming when she sent that comment to me. Only God knew what He had in store for both of us. He knew that we meet all His requirements and that we would work well together.
Over the next three months, we learned about each other’s lives and that we were both committed to our Lord. In fact, as we talked we found that our faith was almost identical.
I was so glad when I was able to share with her what God had shown me.
Presently
We were married on August 23rd, 2021, and are still amazed at how perfectly matched we are physically and spiritually. Daily we thank God for selecting us for each other. By God’s grace, we have expanded our ministry both here and abroad.
This past year we have added https://escucharadios.com/. This is a sister website to serve those who speak Spanish.
Two Wives in Heaven
So, you might ask what will it be like in heaven. Will I have two wives? This may seem to be a very natural question. Jesus, however, explains that we will be more like angels and that there will not be marriage in heaven.
The apostle John tells us, 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 NIV
We like to think of being with the one we love forever and we will be. If both husband and wife are followers of Jesus they will be in heaven together. However, they will be there as the bride of Christ and their focus will be on Him and the Father not on each other.
Like Angels
You need to picture yourself as standing before the throne of God among the multitude. The joy of worshiping the Creator of all things and being in His presence will fill your heart. You will not need a helpmate in His presence.
Marriage will no longer be symbolic but a reality with Jesus. It will not be a physical relationship but a spiritual one.
When Jesus speaks of marriage to the Sadducees He says, 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven. Matthew 22:30 NKJV
I find it quite exciting that we are to be like the Angels of God. It is one of the wonders of God, our fleshly bodies will be transformed into new ones that do not hurt. Our missing parts will no longer be needed. If we are now blind we will see and probably much further.
As John says, But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him.
Whatever form we are in I hope that we will be able to spend some time together in heaven. What form we take is simply not important. The important thing is that we will be with Him instead of with Satan.
Our joy will be complete because we are in God’s presence.
Marriage Symbolic
When I speak of my two wives it does not give the proper picture of marriage. Remember how Jesus quoted from Genesis 2:24 God’s plan for marriage? Jesus said 5 ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? Matthew 19:5
Marriage is given to us as a daily example of the relationship that is to be between Jesus and His bride. It is unbreakable because it is a God-created union between a man and a woman until death separates them.
After the death of a spouse, God allows marriage to another person as long as the other person does not have a living spouse.
All history points towards a great coming event. When Jesus comes for His bride, the church, those who have accepted Him as Savior. Those who obey His commands and follow His teachings.
The fulfillment of this event is revealed to John in the Revelation Jesus gives Him. He is allowed to see and record this great event that is to take place in the future.
6b “Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
8 Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.” Revelations 19:6b-8 NIV
In Conclusion
Having two wives is possible, but only if one is deceased before you marry the second. Your second wife can not have a living spouse for your marriage to be valid.
Divorce does not make it OK to remarry.
This is what Jesus says, 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:32 NIV
One of the ten commandments is, 14 “You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 NKJV
Our society has put away God’s Laws and decided to allow all kinds of evils. However, God has never accepted man’s idea of righteousness.
Even if you do not accept Jesus as your Savior you can see that His laws make for a better and safer society in which to live. Almost all of God’s laws are directed to our welfare. However, this does not mean that we can make our own laws. And it does not mean that we will not pay a price for breaking His.
Sin always costs!