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TRUST
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul. Psalms 94:19 NKJV
ANXIETIES
This verse stopped me: “In the multitude of my anxieties within me…”
There I was. The anxieties were real.
One of our ten grown children had the diagnosis of aggressive brain cancer eleven years ago.
I have written of him before, and you readers following our stories might already know that those years have been filled with three brain surgeries, radiation series, and chemotherapy.
MIRACLE
Then, there was the MIRACULOUS panel of surgeons consulting and admitting being “puzzled,” as all they viewed was scar tissue, and they discontinued his chemotherapy. That was over a year ago. (See our story, HEALED!, in the Inspiration Section.)
In that time, I don’t believe a single day has passed that I haven’t thanked God for my son’s healing.
We were ecstatic.
His wife, 11-year-old son, all of his siblings, and my husband and I REJOICED!!!
I don’t know of a word strong enough to explain the level of my rejoicing, my thankfulness, and praise to God.
I wrote about Luke’s healing here on Iamcalls.com.
We told others.
I REJOICED!!! We all did…and do.
After that year, another routine MRI showed something questionable.
The dye was absorbed. They have scheduled a two-month wait before the next MRI.
As I type this on a beautiful, hot August afternoon in our little apartment, “the multitude of my anxieties within me” makes a racket in my soul.
They plague me with the thoughts of many what-ifs.
Of course, if you Google such things with all the big medical words I have learned and thrown about for the past 11 years, you find some terrifying possibilities. Even AI got in on telling me its thoughts and diagnosis.
It comes down to two choices, as it always does.
Do we panic, or do we continue to TRUST God?
I have thanked God for His Healing of my son and continue to do so. The question is not that God healed him, but whether I misunderstood the nature of that healing. Was God healing Luke for Heaven…or for a long, healthy life here on earth? Would there be no more problems whatsoever? Would life be all that I hoped for my son?
In other words, life is not easy, nor easily understood.
I know that God is to be trusted, for He has always been trustworthy.
Always.
I read of it all over the thousands of years that my God HAS been trustworthy.
It is all there on the pages of YOUR Bible, as it is in mine.
We choose to trust Him.
He has never given us a reason not to trust Him.
We know that God has saved Luke’s soul; he believes, loves God, and has shared Him near and far since this journey began.
He desires to continue to serve God and tell others of Him. That too is a miracle and a soul-healing.
Therefore, I lay my overactive imagination and my fears before the feet of Jesus and cast my care there, as He has told us to do both. (See I Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22.)
How easy it would be to panic or to think I had misunderstood this gift given of healing from God.
The second portion of our main verse of Psalm 94:19 today says, “Your comforts delight my soul.”
God continues to comfort us all, as we wait to hear what lies ahead for Luke and us all.
God remains God…our God even unto death.
We all long for the most days we can have here on earth.
Yet, our time with God will be for all Eternity.
How important for us all to be ready for Eternity, and to accept the healing He has for us of soul, spirit, and body, as He gives them.
Each breath, each second is a blessing, a healing, a gift.
His comforts delight MY soul, and I rest in the arms of my God, while I await further news on my son.
I pray for him in God’s Will, as Luke does,
and we wait together,
in the comfort of the God
we both trust.
UPDATE
Months have passed since this original post was written.
If you are new to the site, you will want to read, “TOUCHING GOD” which tells of Luke’s diagnosis and early history with brain cancer, and, “HEALED!!” in which we write of his miraculous healing.
The third in the series is the article above that you have just finished reading. A glitch in a routine MRI brings new questions and further anxiety. While we all wanted to believe that the healing touch that we KNOW Luke received was permanent, we wondered if it was a temporary healing.
We also wondered if the healing was only spiritual, for we truly knew that the glorious way that Luke was reaching out with his faith over the past 11 years was truly of God.
So, here we were waiting for the follow-up MRI and the future prognosis.
It was a long two-month wait.—
A couple of weeks ago, Luke had his most recent follow-up MRI.
We got back the results that all looked good, but they were going to call in a panel of multiple brain surgeons and oncologists to evaluate the findings.
The group convened, and we just got the results back.
ALL of the panel agreed that there was a group of blood vessels that were prominent in his brain since the multiple radiation treatments that had accumulated the dye, and all was well.
LORD GOD, YOU AGAIN PROVE TO US THAT THIS HEALING WAS AND IS A PHYSICAL HEALING AS WELL AS A SPIRITUAL HEALING, AND WE THANK YOU BEYOND THE ABILITY OF WORDS TO THANK YOU!!
Luke continues to be a fine Christian man, a loving husband, and a great father to his almost 12-year-old son, and Luke is a son of ours who has never for one minute been anything but wonderful to us.
We cannot thank God enough for this healing and blessing on top of the healings and blessings that He has lavished upon Luke and us all already.
We are trusting our Healing, Loving, Glorious God for the wonderful future ahead.
In the multitude of our anxieties or in the calm after the storm, our God never leaves our sides nor ever stops loving us.