Husband Love Your Wife
Husbands
Husband, love your wife should not be a statement that needs to be made. However, we live in an age where marriage is under attack. Many now decide to go against God and live in sin with someone outside of marriage.
It should also be noted that those who decide to live together in rebellion against God’s commands are doomed to failure. In the first 10 years, 62% of those choosing to live in a sinful relationship are no longer together. Instead, they often move on and repeat the same destructive failure.
A report from the (CDC) gives the following statics:
“Among the findings in the report: unmarried cohabitations overall are less stable than marriages. The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for cohabitations.”
God says in Genesis 2:24 that” the two will become one.” Paul repeats this God-given truth in Ephesians. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Eph 5:31 NIV
A good husband works to protect his marriage from the world’s wickedness. Unfortunately, Satan desires to wreak marriage because God made it the building block of families and civilized society.
Husband: your job
Did you consider what your responsibility would be when you married your wife? I am sure you thought about where you would live, how you would support her, and how you would enjoy your nighttime pleasures. However, did you think about your spiritual commitment to her?
Perhaps you remember the scripture often quoted out of context, “wives obey your husbands.” This quote is a small part of scripture telling a wife part of her responsibility. Unfortunately, it is often used with no regard to the more significant portion of scripture related to husband and wife.
This section of scripture starts with a verse that says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Telling husbands and wives to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ outlines the first step in a loving and caring relationship.
You should read this section of the scripture often to keep the following responsibilities firmly in your mind and heart. First, note that God uses the relationship of husband and wife as a picture of marriage between Him and the church. Second, it puts special attention on the husband, like Jesus, our Savior.
As you can see, this scripture does cover how wives should submit, but then it illustrates the sacrificial nature of husbands, the husband. You are to love your wife just as Christ loved the church. Give that some thought.
The Bible says, 25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV
Husband, what does this mean?
I do not know about you, but loving my wife as Jesus loved the church is humbling. Jesus loved the church and gave Himself up for her. He left heaven for the church. Jesus lived among rebellious people and endured their attacks as He tried to lead them into truth. Then Jesus died upon the cross for their sins and our sins.
Being a good husband is not easy. It requires a total commitment to doing all God has asked you to do and never giving up. A good husband puts his wife’s welfare before his own. He cannot be selfish and self-centered.
Jesus put us first in coming into the world and taking on human flesh. He put Himself in a position so He could feel pain as we do. His body grew tired when Jesus walked through the Holy Land. He came to give Himself for us, and He felt the same things we feel. He did not want to be nailed to a cross, but He went to the cross anyway.
Paul is saying that you need that same kind of commitment in marriage. That same kind of sacrificial love. You need to be able to love your wife as she is and seek to help her draw closer to God by your example.
To succeed in marriage, you must never, never ever consider divorce an option! The two are one, and man cannot break that bond that God has made without horrible consequences.
Following the scripture can help our nation turn back to Godly marriage. You can be part of the solution to the vast depravity in relationships.
So how do you ensure that bond?
I can tell you a few things that have worked for me and may help you. However, each couple is different and must work together to find what works best for them.
Each morning when we wake, I tell my wife good morning, kiss her once or twice and tell her I love her. Kissing her is not a formality but a heartfelt expression. Since we are both older, we often ask how we slept during the night.
I usually write while she gets ready for the day, and when she returns to start breakfast, I give her a hug and a few more kisses. And tell her again that I love her. (She also does the same.)
You might think this would get old and lose its meaning, but it does not. It still is fresh each time because we feel the love we express. You must let yourself feel the love God implants in you for each other.
Every morning we read the Bible and pray together before starting our work. We use a schedule I made to read the Bible once each year. We read Old Testament in the morning and New Testament each evening after supper. This time brings us closer and reminds us that God ordained our marriage.
You may not be able to do this, but since we work from home, I take time to hold her and kiss her all through the day. During the day, I never forget to tell her how much I love her and how wonderful she looks.
The little things
These are little things but very important in our relationship. We know that we love each other, but saying it is a confirmation of our commitment to our marriage and each other.
When we go to bed, we talk for a while, and then I lay my hand on her and pray for her. She also prays for me at that time. Then, we kiss a few times and express our love for each other. Afterward, in my private prayer, I always thank God again for giving me my wife and praise Him for the love He gave each of us.
There isn’t a magic formula for a happy marriage. However, reminding yourself how good God is to give you a wife to love and care for is essential.
Another thing that my wife tells me is important to her is the spontaneous little outings to go and get a candy bar or go to the library. You should simply do something together. Especially if your wife does not work outside of the home, she needs the treat of going somewhere with her husband.
Keep this in mind
Remember this scripture. Keep it always in your mind. Apply it to how you treat your wife. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:28-30 NIV
You do things that please you, and as one, you should also do what pleases her. Make sure you feed and care for her as you want her to feed and care for you. Always be conscious of her needs and do your best to meet them. Make her love for you grow into something even more remarkable.
For emphasis, Paul adds the 33rd verse. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NIV
I encourage you to keep these scriptures in mind and mold your life and actions around this teaching. Be a good husband to your wife. Protect her and treat her with respect. Let everyone know that she is precious to you.
The Apostle Peter reinforces Pauls’s teaching. 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 NIV
Christian husbands will always seek to strengthen their marriage. They will pray and ask God for help with any problems they have in their marriage. So you will grow as you help your wife to grow in the Lord.
There will be rocks in the road
Husband, love your wife in all circumstances. However, there will be some rocky roads in every marriage. Understand that marriages grow stronger by overcoming problems just like individuals.
You have a responsibility to God to care for your wife. Colossians says, 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19 NIV
When you face a problem in marriage, especially a disagreement with your wife, you can easily let it progress to anger. When you allow yourself to become angry, you may allow yourself to express that anger in a way that damages your marriage.
Don’t become angry. Stop and Pray. If you can pray together, that is even better. You tend to be a little more honest when you talk to God.
You can grow into a better relationship through this process. James says, 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV
Satan will attack your marriage
Husband, love your wife only! Never forget that you are at war with Satan and all his lies. You will be tempted to sin, and one of those sins that Satan uses to attack marriage is sexual sin. As the spiritual leader, it is up to you to avoid this type of sin at all costs.
Scripture tells us, 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4 NIV
God gave us a desire for sexual union meant to make us closer and bind us together. Therefore, it is very important to the marriage relationship and should be beneficial and enjoyable to both husband and wife. Take time to find out what is pleasing to your wife. It may be that she gets more pleasure from being held close. Find out!
Be on your guard. If both of you are satisfied sexually, Satan will find another area to attack. Know and understand that you are at war and will be attacked anywhere and everywhere.
As a husband, you must be vigilant in protecting the home. Pray, read God’s Word, and don’t play around with any sin. Satan really is out to get you and your family.
Be part of the cure
If you have stayed with me this far, you can be part of the cure for our nation and, even more importantly, the church.
We need men and women committed to living godly lives and encouraging others to do so. Unfortunately, our nation’s choice to sanction all forms of sexual sin is destroying marriage. As a Christian husband, you can help change people’s views on marriage.
You need to be vocal, but remember that our love is a sign that we are followers of Jesus. So hate sin, but never let that hate cause you to hate a person. Remember, Jesus came to die for sinners